then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
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