Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
