this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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