So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
