I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize