so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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