I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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