Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
