There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
