Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
