from now on my penis is your penis
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
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