yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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