You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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