You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
