I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Randomize
