physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
