bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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