ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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