Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
