"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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