Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
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