I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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