put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
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