We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
