Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
We got so high we made milksteak
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
