I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
He? As in you personified your dick?
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
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