You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
