I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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