Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
