in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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