I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Randomize
