'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
i dont even know how to be here
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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