after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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