I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
