i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Randomize
