I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Randomize
