go do what you do best...puke behind churches
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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