Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
my god I love twenty year old dicks
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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