somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
