So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Randomize
