using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
