ya dads aren't the best wingmen
fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Randomize
