Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
