thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
