they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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