Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Randomize
