i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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