Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
two words...techno handjob
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
