sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
