I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
